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| it has been a long time since i posted an entry. maybe like 3 months. anyhow, here goes, "being careful"of your actions of what you speak of what you think of what you see of what you write of what you hear sometimes i wish life is not all that complicated. but i realize, without these challenges, we will not be able to be who we are today. anyway, i am going to the hospital on Monday. God bless me God bless,
Timothy Ng Tian Rong,
DC-ed
- Music:Rascal Flatts- Here comes Goodbye
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| 'God allows things to happen for a reason'
The line above sums up everything that i learnt over the past few days.
i learnt to appreciate my family even more. i prayed over my actions and reactions towards my family and realize that i havent been all good to them. i admit that i am a bit 'spoiled' and when i dont get things my way at home, i will just get pissed off. i learnt that things dont always comes your way and you have to learn to let go. Furthermore, i was angry with God for what happened over the past few days, but i realize that He allows this to happen to open my eyes to things i dont want to see. things that will happen due to the situation that happened.
i also learnt that my family may seemed to be more open to christianity than i ever imagined. Before this happen, i always thought that evangelising to my family is VERY difficult because they dont seemed to be the type of people that will care about religion. through this experience, i realize that the seed had already been planted in their hearts and we are only watering it. if we keep on doing that, the flowers will bloom.
i also learnt that we must never judge other people. you will never know how much you actually care about them. put aside those feelings that you feel and look at the picture. dig deep into your heart and you will find out how much you care for them. God has open my heart to realize that what my uncle say or does was for my own good. but i realize it too late. i hope that i wont make the same mistake. never make the same mistake.
What happened is still a shock to me and i never expected it to happen at all. it is too hurting for me and i am still learning to accept it. i think i will take a whole lot of time to accept it. but i have changed through this experience. i have grown alot. i also realize i may not be the whole zeal and hyper kinda guy around any of my friends anymore, except my family and relatives. i dont know why, but i cant seem to be all hyper and happy around them. maybe because the hurt in me is still not fully healed yet. but i will try to smile and laugh.
Uncle Mattew Ng Kim Buan aka My beloved, respectable, kind-hearted and will always be my most favourite uncle, you will stay in my heart forever and i will never ever forgt about you till the day God takes me home. I know you will be waiting for me in heaven. and i will meet you there soon, when the time is right. May God bless you... - Mood:depressed
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How can someone just leave us without a goodbye?
Why do things happen so suddenly?
Why must some people just control the pain?
HOW CAN THIS BE A REALITY?
i dont want to accept it. i just dont!
How can this be real?
it is just a bad dream, it has to be!!
why?why?why?why?why?why?
this is definitely not happening! It must NOT happen! It did not happen! It will not happen!
Why? All i can ask now is WHY?
Can i 'hate' the person for leaving ALL OF US without a goodbye?
goodbye is all we need,
goodbye is all we seek.
- Mood:depressed
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| hey guys...i am writing exactly one month from my last post!!!HAHAHAHAHA!
ok..today is MY BIRTHDAY!HAHA!!!..the day i first breathe the air........lol...
my 17th birthday is the best birthday i ever had!!
Firstly, i was studying till 12 plus on 8th september when My family sang the birthday song to me!!haha..i was really really happy and felt so loved!!!!
Secondly, messages came flowing to my phone..hahaha..want to give a Huge Thanks to SIJIA- FIRST TO WISH ME other than my family and relatives...haha...and TSU JIE for the extremely long and encouraging message...SIBLINGS FOR LIFE!
Thirdly, JUSTIN- my secret twin...same birthday as I!!!!HAHA!!! THANKS FOR GETTING UP FROM YOUR SLEEP AND WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!...haha...you rock man!!!hahaha
Fourth, THANKS COOL POWER RANGER for the Birthday Card..it is really nice and i will really treasure it alot!!!. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!.hahaha...
Fifth, GILLIAN JIE, DAPHNE MEI, CYNTHIA THANY, thanks for the present too!!!really amazed at that present you gave to me...anyways, didnt expect anything from you guys...but...TA-DAH...really surprising.
Special Thanks:
1T08- thanks for the 'cake bash'...putting my face in it and dirtying my whole uniform...LOL..haha..but it was fun!!!
TO GOD, my saviour, friend, comforter, FATHER...thank you so much for protecting me for 17 years...thank you for the wonderful family you gave to me....thank you for the amazing friends i met...finally, thank you for loving me and always being there for me till the END!!!!
CPR- THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! LOVE YOU GUYS (and girls)!!!!haha..you guys will always be my number one best friends in school!!!..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME AND JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
sign off,
Timothy Ng Tian Rong, a happy MAN!!! - Mood:ecstatic
 - Music:EVERYTHING!
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| i read a blog,
saw one line,
felt so hurt,
i dont know why
I read just a few words on one of my friends bogs it got me thinking a lot.
Sometimes i wonder how close we are. close enough to share almost or whole life, or close to a certain extent where secrets can't be told?
sometimes i wonder, really wonder.
A: Recently, i also talked to a grp B more than grp A. I have no idea wat grp A is thinking but all i know is that i am starting to be not so close to them. Howeve, for grp B, it s the other way round! What should i do then? I spent lots of time with them now but still, i feel so distant!!!
Why? just wonder why? My friend from grp A assured me that everything is okay and we are as close as before but i don't think so!
B: I also felt that i am notso close to E but E said it isnt so...in the past, we tell each other stuffs but now we seldom talk to each other! What is happening? I can't seemto talk to him for a long period of time too!!
C: We have always been, but i don't know how close!! that is the main problem. sometimes, i wonder if the depth of our friendship is only a facade. i can't tell, i can't find out!
Maybe the problem lies in me and i dont even know. Sometimes you have to lose your pride to find out because if you dont you may be living a lie your whole entire life. but where am i going to get the courage to ask? how am i going to ask? when am i going to ask? what am i going to ask?
all i know is: friendship, like love, is not one-sided but two-sided.
maybe i try to hard,
then everything falls apart - Mood:sad
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| hey guys..today is just another normal saturday..
i think today worship and post-worship praying is really good..i really felt something during the worship and it touched me..oh..and i recieve an impression!!! haha...anyways, there is like no lesson today (tiffany escaped teaching again!!) sad...=(
anyways, after church took pictures and again...then there was an 'euption of lava and pyroclastic materials', but everything had settled down..haha.....
nothing much to talk about except that i have a good talk with xiao ping...(lame ones!)
i was just thinking through what happened today and i know why the 'eruption' happened-- due to the 'history of plate tectonics'
i have to deal with the 'history of plate tectonics' in order to prevent anymore unwanted 'eruption' AGAIN!
God bless guys, and to whom that 'erupted', you have my most sincere apology!
I AM GOING TO START MUSIC CLEF AGAIN!- soon! (very happy) - Music:what hurts the most- rascal flatts
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| what is the greatest murderer on earth?
JC1 h2 math paper! (killed almost everybody in 3 hours)- very amazing
*clap clap*
anws, the math paper on wednesday was really a killer!!! i could not do lots of questions...i was practically zomging my way through the paper, at least i did almost all the questions..with many blanks of course...
for chinese (today), i do not understand anything i read so......
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEQIN!!!!
mid-years are finally over!!!! haha...i can just take a short break from all the stress, dwelling on papers and choiing!!! but i am going to seriously mug everyday from 1 july onwards..After what happen in mid-years, i realize i am not studying hard enough...so i am going to stop my 'life' for awhile and enter study land. i must do well fo promos or it will be 2009 orientation!!
i am sick today so i am not going to type anymore!!! bye guys and God bless!
'ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock on the door and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds; and to hime who knocks, the dooe will be opened' ---Matthew 7:7-8 - Mood:sick
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| hey guys!!
church camp was EXTRA fun (as expected), especially with my close friends...lol..i shall not give details cos' it will take weeks to finish..lawl..
Spiritual:
i had been touched by God and i definitely reignite that flame in me to have the passion for God's work and will!!!
i felt i have been closer to my cell , especially WT!!! i am so happy...-_-
i am going to be a change person in terms of spiritual, character and attitude!!!
Thank God for answering ps. rach, tiff and my prayer!!!
Friends:
i shared the room with kenneth TAN and we shared some secrets( i think )..and i UNINTENTIONALLY, and i say again, UNINTENTIONALLY make him tired...LoL.. sorry ken..all in all, kenneth is just one of a kind (in a good way). we share lots of "THINGS" in common...
i miss all the talks with kenneth!!omgosh...i am so bored at home!!
i spent lots of time with my close friends and some other people..and i found out that some people are not so bad after all. All it takes was just one step out of your comfort zone and everything will be WHOA!!! --> not lying!!
All in all, it had been a great, tiring, fun, and super fun church camp..cant wait for next year church camp..lame..i know...
i went to KL after that and bought like 9 things only...sad but kinda of happy. HAHA!!! i restrained myself alot and manage to buy 9 things only!! be happy be glad!!!
okays...i have to really go and study!!! BYE!!
- Mood:cheerful
- Music:random
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When the wind blows on my face,
i feel your soft and gentle touch.
When i hear the sound of the leaves,
i hear your soothing vocals singing the melodies of nature.
Whenever i close my eyes,
i see you standing there waiting for me.
I know that you are near
you said you will be back ,
so i waited for you.
the season changed,
and the leaves withered.
yet still no sign from you.
soon winter came along,
and the fields turn pale white.
but still you didnt come back.
then i felt your love sprinkled through the snow flakes and
i know that you are near
The sound of the waves rushes in my ear
i stood still to hear the peaceful melody from the water.
i immersed with the songs sung by the waves.
then, a familiar tune caught my attention.
i opened my eyes and turned around.
there you were,
standing there singing my favourite tune.
i know you are near
As you fade away from my hand,
i feel your heart beat slowing down.
each heart beat of yours,
is like an arrow piercing through my heart.
each tear of yours,
stir up my love for you
and for every smile you give me,
a tear of love roll down my cheeks.
but you lift your frail hand and wipe away all the tears i shed
and you said '"love goes beyond all circumstances, even this"
as soon as you said your last words,
you fade away with the wind of life,
knowing my heart will always belong to you because
i love you.
i know you are near, in my heart
- Mood:melancholy
- Music:cloud smiles- Final Fantasy 7: advent children
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| heys its been one month and 5 days since i updated my blog!!!
the few reasons are- laziness, busy with studies and busy with some other personal stuffs!!!
anws...i watched final fantasy 7: advent children again x 100.. and i still cried in the end!!!omgosh!!really sad to me!!!!
and i am addicted to the music too (especially the emo ones)...i miss final fantasy (all the games i played- 7,8,9)..for FF10 and above, you need playstation 2 and 3 to play and i dont have any...sad....BUT I SHALL STAY LOYAL TO FINAL FANTASY!!!!haha.
i am feeling very emotional now due to a mixture of things- exams (very important to me), youth anniversary band, THE SHOW, and some personal issues of my own!!! I am really depending on God's strength now!!! i dont think i can handle anymore challenges, difficulties and setbacks now...Jesus, please help me!!!
i have a prayer that will last for eternity
it is a prayer to ask you to forgive all my sins.
i have a prayer that requires your strength
it is a prayer to ask for your loving hand
i have a prayer that will show my love for you
it is a prayer of love, passion and truth - Music:cloud smiles- final fantasy 7:advent children!
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timothyng's journal